“Ask And You Shall Receive!”

Who is in your trusted support system?

It should be a well-known fact by now that in addition to my weekly blog posts, I also share a short, one-minute, motivational message every Monday of each week. This past week I shared a message/tip/piece of advice that was very fitting for me in my current season.

I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T what does that spell? That spells IMANI. Seriously, I cannot quite put my finger on where this began, but I have a problem with being too independent. And I say I don’t know where it began because I come from the most supporting family that will be there in a drop of a dime whenever I call. And I call my desire to be super independent a “problem” because it sometimes can be. My desire to be so independent can sometimes cause me to lose sleep because I am trying to figure out how I can achieve X, Y, Z all at the same time in the same 24-hour day in addition to achieving A, B, C. It can sometimes cause me to be distant from others because I am either trying to manage my time by getting all of these things done on my own, or I am too embarrassed to share with someone that I am unable to do something on my own (silly, I know!).

Don’t get me wrong, being independent is a GOOD QUALITY. Because we all know at least 1 person who seems to be unable to do anything on their own (and they are fully capable mentally, physically, and intellectually to do it on their own), and they burn so many bridges by having their hand out constantly. But I’m referring to those people who are like me who put in 120% of time and effort and still feel like they haven’t produced enough. People who are like me who think they are superwoman and are too good to ask for help, even if it’s as simple as allowing your partner to truck up half the bags of groceries because you both are going into the same place and you both are still only making 1 trip. Being too independent can lead us to not want to ask for help, even in the moments where we should ask for help!

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Here is a transcript of the motivational message I shared on my YouTube channel this past Monday:

This is just a friendly reminder that might sound really simple, but it’s really important and probably harder than you think. Do not be afraid to ask for help. Regardless of what the task is, regardless of what the deadline is, regardless of how capable you are of getting that done all by yourself, do not be afraid to ask for help! You know the saying, “teamwork makes the dream work!” And that can be applied in many areas of our lives, whether it’s cleaning the kitchen, or whether it’s a work project, or whether it’s trying to save up money for a goal or for a trip. Do not be afraid to ask for help, you’ll be surprised who is willing to help you and be grateful for helping you!

See how simple that sounds? But ask yourself how often you actually ask for help…

Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re a lost cause or incapable of succeeding on your own. Asking for help not only means turning to your neighbor and asking for financial, physical, or emotional assistance, but it also means turning to God and asking for the same things. Asking for help includes praying and asking God for HIS help. His help comes in the form of guidance, miracles, signs, unexpected blessings, and open doors. Human help comes in the literal hands-on help, encouragement, and support.

Let’s take this piece of advice and message just one step further. My friend Rihana reminded me of this: sometimes we are afraid to put the same energy into things we don’t want to do like the things we want to do. At first, that doesn’t seem like it makes sense, does it? Of course, you wouldn’t expend energy on things you don’t want to do; you want to get those things done as quickly as possible and not have to think about it anymore. But really look at what she meant — when we are really excited about doing something whether it’s something new for the first time (moving to a new city, getting our dream job, trying a new restaurant) or it’s something that brings us joy on a regular basis (weekly happy hours, our favorite movie, staycations) we put a lot of energy, thought, time, and prayer into it. We’re praying to God for the opportunity to present itself, and when it does we are shouting on the mountain tops about it. But sometimes we should put that same amount of energy, thought, time, and prayer into things that we aren’t necessarily happy about, but they are necessary in order for us to get to and through our next chapter and next season of our lives. When we are approaching a difficult decision or circumstance, pray to God for the transition to be smooth and share with your support system what you’re dealing with so they can support you.

Whoever is in your support system, trust that they are there because they want to be there. Call on them when you need them and even when you don’t think you need them. If they are able to help you, they will. If they are not, they will figure out how someone else can.

This is a friendly reminder to ask for help and to stop making life harder than it already is! 🙂

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” — Matthew 7:7-8, NKJV.

Moni Jay, Off the Record