“Black Love, Simply.”

How do you define love?

Black love makes me happy.

I would say I can’t tell you why seeing Black people express their love brings a huge smile to my face. But that wouldn’t be completely true. After further thought, I realized I feel that way because they are experiencing what I want for my life. I want to meet “the one.” I want to build a relationship with someone that only we can understand. I want that lifelong partner. I want to get married.

I have always wanted to get married. I think. I know recently I have expressed and found comfort in my decision to not want to bear children. And I haven’t had the “best” dating life lol, but for whatever reason, I am confident in my desire to get married. Don’t ask me where that desire comes from. The Bible? Society? Social media? Friends? Who knows. and it’s somewhat ironic because my parents got divorced when I was 11, and I promise that divide had zero effect on me. Or at least I don’t think it did…

I keep saying I want to write a blog post on the effects of divorce on Black families, but in order for me to deliver what I truly want in that blog post, I’d have to do some research. Create a study lol. Gain insight from people who have lived through their parents’ divorce. And it may happen one day, but I just don’t have the energy for that right now, and I don’t want to half do it. Great topic though, right?!

So why does Black love make me so happy?! It’s because I want to get married. And it’s also because Black people have to climb so many hills to just make it through this life. We have the cards stacked against us. People slick wish we never achieve anything that is considered “successful,” so when we do, I get ecstatic. And to me, creating a bond and establishing a union is considered “successful!” For those who follow me on social media, you know that this past weekend, one of my best friends Detrick (I actually call him Strib) married his wife Asendra. Their union was beautiful. Their wedding was beautiful. They are beautiful.

Here are a few things I think make a wedding beautiful and memorable:

Simplicity

Now from behind the scenes and the wedding planner’s point of view, I doubt anything about this wedding would be considered “simple.” But I am saying “simple” in a positive way — not in a way of “they got lazy,” “they could have done this, this, and this better…” No, in a way where they kept it simple, classy, and concise. The wedding was held in a venue in Atlanta, called Spring Hall Event Venue. It wasn’t super large to where you couldn’t figure out where the ceremony and reception were being held, but it had ample amount of space for the bridal party to take their photos outside the presence of the guests, for the guests to maintain safe social distance if they chose, and for us to get jiggy on the dance floor! The ceremony had chairs set out for the guests, the decorations were eye-catching but not overdone, and the order of events wasn’t “doing too much.” There was a live singer for the wedding procession, simple vows, and then a DJ for the reception. Easy. Beautiful. Simple!

Organization

The invitation stated that the wedding began at 3:45pm. The ceremony actually wasn’t set to start until 4:00pm, but rather than have people arriving late when the bride is walking in, or trying to sneak in the back when the groom is reciting his vows, they made sure they set the time 15-minutes before showtime to avoid all of that. Smart! Regardless of everyone’s intentions, there is always going to be someone late to a wedding, but for Strib and Asendra, everyone was seated and waiting by the time the clock hit 4:00pm.
Another thing I really liked about their wedding was that they not only obviously required everyone to RSVP in advance, but they also required everyone to wear black formal attire. To me, this just made the aesthetics pop! The decorations were silver and gold themed, so that paired extremely well with everyone’s sexy, grown-up, black outfits. And I can’t forget to mention how good everyone looked in their all black. Women can’t go wrong in a black dress, and men look clean and sharp in their black suits!

Open Bar

This has to be so obvious lol. No, but seriously, even if the wedding couple or their family do not drink alcoholic beverages, 9 times out of 10 majority of the guests do. I know that some people feel that if they drink at an event or in a home where the host does not drink, then that is disrespectful. If the wedding was in a church, I would agree with that. But in my experience, most people at weddings are looking for some fun beverages during the reception. I also used to cater events and we would cater a lot of weddings. There would be “bars” at the dry weddings, and we would pour tea and pink lemonade in the glasses of guests who wish they ordered a side of vodka. Just saying. And you know most people say weddings are really for the guests anyway. The couple is already married by the time the ceremony starts because they have already received their marriage license, so the gown, vows, reception, bouquet and garter tosses, are all for us guests! Treat us well and serve some drinks! Haha.

Strib and Asendra’s wedding reminded me how much I love Black love. I love seeing Black couples in long, healthy relationships. But even more so, I love seeing Black couples getting married. Many people today will have you believe that marriage is just a business deal, and to some that may be true. But to some saps like me, marriage is that extra step towards exemplifying eternal love. That extra step towards true commitment. That extra step towards happily ever after.

Their wedding made me happy because I got to see my best friend and his lady happy!

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” — Genesis 2:24, NKJV.

Moni Jay, Off the Record