“A Groundhog’s Best Friend is…”

Did you ever have to end a friendship with someone you thought was a friend?

There are many different stages of life. Highs and lows. Setbacks and successes. Learning and unlearning. Making friends and losing some. I like to also think that there are many different stages of friendships. Think about it — how old were you when you made your very first friend? 3 years old? 5? 7? How long did that friendship last? Do you and that person still communicate, hang out, and share secrets today? The answer to 2/3 of that last question is probably not (if I’m wrong, please let me know! I’d love to hear that story!).

I made my very first friend when I was about 5 years old. We lived one block over from each other, we went to school with each other, our parents knew each other, and we had tons of sleepovers! I, unfortunately, had to move from that neighborhood and state when I was 11 and, naturally, 11-year-olds in the early 2000s lost contact with each other (no social media for us yet!). We have since reconnected on social media and met physically once or twice, but we obviously aren’t as close as we were when we were toddlers. But we are still kind to each other, support each other, and will hang out with each other if we were in the same town! So yeah, there are many different stages of friendships.

My longest friendship (“friendship” in this context is defined as someone I communicate with regularly, share secrets and life events with, and she has a key to my house) is with my best friend Kyria, Ky for short. Many of my readers know who Ky is. And yall know how awesome of a person she is, inside and out! Also, yesterday, February 2nd, was her birthday! Ky and I became friends when we were 11 years old in 6th grade. We graduated high school together, went to college at WVU together, and witnessed each other achieve some major life accomplishments. She knows literally everything about me! Lol, please don’t pry her for knowledge! Since high school, I made some close friends in college. But they have all moved from WV and I now live in GA.

But my move down south to GA really forced me to make new friends (again)! I made friends in law school and they’re great! We got through probably the hardest three years of our adult lives (actually, maybe them running law firms now is actually the hardest years of their adult lives), together. There were parties, tears, secrets, and moments of growth. But after law school, they moved to the Atlanta area or Florida or somewhere that wasn’t Athens! And then at work, I obviously have some great coworkers who I trust and can open up with, but yup you guessed it. Not everyone I started working with is still working there!

“Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between people. It is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an acquaintance or an association, such as a classmate, neighbor, or colleague.”

Wikipedia

What am I trying to say?! I am trying to say that there are many different stages of life just like there are many different stages of friendship. You have your friends that you had your diapers changed alongside with. You have your friends that you learned to ride a bike with. You have your friends that you shared the story of your first kiss with. You have your friends that you dance on tables in college with. You have your friends that you graduate with. You have your friends that you go on adventures with. You have your friends that you go to church with. You have your friends that you get arrested with. You have your friends that you fight ex-partners with. You have your friends that you start new jobs with. You have your friends that you workout with. You have your friends that you share random, deep stories with. You have your friends that you talk to literally every day.

But you also have friends that weren’t really friends and were just people who were in your life for a specific season. Acquaintances really. You remember moments with them. You might not necessarily hate them (or you do), but you don’t communicate with them anymore. They don’t really know you and you don’t really know them. And that’s okay. I think that’s one of the many beautiful things about life. We might feel upset in that instant moment, but then in hindsight, we appreciate the growth and opportunity of that exact same moment.

Some of my closest friends live in Virginia, Texas, Illinois, and Pennsylvania. I talk to them weekly if not daily. Phone. Text. Facetime. Social media. They know all about my highs and lows, setbacks and successes, learning and unlearning. I have definitely built a strong village here in Athens, and I pray that if we ever grow physically distant we never become actually distant.

A groundhog’s best friend is… you guessed it, his shadow! He apparently saw his shadow and there will be another six weeks of winter. Did you ever have to end a friendship with someone you thought was your friend?

“God sets the solitary in families; He brings out those who are bound into prosperity; But the rebellious dwell in a dry land.” — Psalms 68:6, NKJV.

Moni Jay, Off the Record