“Find Beauty in the Chaos – Dealing with [Election] Stress”

What’s one of your favorite things to do to alleviate stress?

I don’t know about you, but I never used to “talk politics” or pay attention to what the candidates stood for. Half the time I didn’t even know who the candidates were (and I remember a few years ago not even knowing the VP’s name). I also never knew there were elections happening all the time outside of the presidential election. I turned 18 in 2008 and Obama was the first person I voted for. That was my first election. And I went Democrat down the entire ballot; knowing nothing about any of the candidates. I didn’t vote again until 2012, but then in 2018, I learned that there were elections happening all the time locally, and those elections were probably more important (in a way) than the presidential election. (This year I was focused heavily on the District Attorney election; there will be a runoff next month between Gonzalez and Chafin! Check out my recent post on the Athens DA Candidates to learn a little about their platforms.)

I had the opportunity to learn more about some local political positions this year when I first volunteered for a local candidate’s campaign. He was running for commissioner and stood for important issues that I personally agreed with. Even then I still didn’t claim that I was “getting into politics.” To me I was just supporting someone who I knew, I believed in, and I trusted to bring about positive change. When I volunteered I participated in phone banking. There’s an online database with people’s names and numbers in it and volunteers make cold calls to those in the district or area in which that candidate is running. I would make about 150 calls a week and felt really good about it! I felt I was really making a difference even though out of those 150 calls I only talked to like 3 people lol.

When his campaign ended, I volunteered for another one. I also knew, believed in, and trusted this candidate to bring about positive change. I was all in… initially. I began to get overwhelmed. My phone banking attempts decreased. I coordinated a few fundraising events but then my time spent with the campaign team slowly became nonexistent. And all I was able to muster the energy to do was share content about her campaign and platform on my social media. At first, I felt terrible about my decrease in my work. I HATE signing up for something and then not being able to deliver as expected. My inner critic began to engage in negative self-talk and I felt useless and worthless. But then I began to realize that I am only one person, and it’s okay to not be able to do everything all the time. I still fully supported the candidate and did what I could when I could, but I stopped beating myself up about not being able to help all the time.

If volunteering for 2 campaigns wasn’t enough to show my support in democracy, I somehow ended up getting hired to work the polls on election day. I originally thought it was going to be a short volunteer gig, but ya girl was wrong! It was a long 16-hour shift. On my feet basically the entire time; back was on fire. Not able to be on my phone. Not able to (slick not wanting to) talk about the election. Being glad that my precinct wasn’t busy, but also concerned that people believed their votes didn’t matter and chose not to vote in this election… (only 65% of registered voters in Athens-Clarke County voted in this election). But my time working the polls wasn’t ALL bad. I did learn some things. The two major things I learned were:

• Presidents are elected based on electoral votes and not popular votes, and
• Votes cast by provisional ballots are not guaranteed to be quantified and counted towards the election.

I think most of us have learned about or heard of the electoral college and electoral votes vs. popular votes. One of the poll workers gave me a little breakdown about it, and I currently do not know how I feel about that process. But, I want to talk more about the provisional ballots. So, I have seen many posts and people talking about the right to a provisional ballot if you don’t have your ID, or unsure if you’re still on felony probation, or if you’re in the wrong precinct and unable (or too lazy) to go to your correct precinct. Many people believe that provisional ballots will count towards the election just as regular ballots. However, I learned that’s not the case (according to my poll manager). Depending on the reason why someone is voting via provisional ballot, the Athens Board of Elections has discretion on whether that ballot will be quantified and counted towards the election like a “regular” ballot. Woah! We had a good handful of people vote via provisional ballots on Tuesday, and every time my poll manager would tell them, “voting via provisional ballot doesn’t guarantee your vote will be counted…going to your assigned precinct will guarantee your vote will be counted.” After each provisional ballot was cast, the poll manager would give them that orange receipt.

Athens has a lot of college students, so if a student is registered to vote in another city, but is unable to get there, they can vote in Athens with a provisional ballot. From what I learned, their vote has a good chance of being counted. If someone is at the wrong precinct but has time to get to their assigned precinct (i.e. it’s not 6:55pm), and they choose to vote via provisional ballot, their vote does NOT have a good chance of being counted. Mind-blowing. Legal? Idk, I don’t have the energy to look into that, but I knew I had to share that information with you all!

This 2020 presidential election was a stressful one! Everyone and their mama texting asking if you’re registered to vote. Everyone and their mama texting asking if you’ll support this candidate. Everyone and their mama texting asking if you’ve mailed in your absentee ballot. And as the election grew closer I began to count down the days until it was all over (and it still ain’t over smh). 2020 has been rough enough. We are dealing with a pandemic. Got these people running for president. Got racists coming out the woodwork. Got discrimination going on left and right. Got virtual school going on. Gotta remember to breathe in and out… like it has been A LOT! So there is no better time than now to share with yall a few tips on how to protect your energy during times of stress and uncertainty.

This is what I had to do during my time volunteering for the second candidate. I learned just how much having a good campaign team and a set of supportive volunteers means when running for office. And the candidates I supported had awesome teams. There are so many ins and outs to campaigning, and I just couldn’t be a part of all of it. I had to set my boundaries and make sure I wasn’t adding too much onto my plate.

This right here is a biggy. Especially in this day and age when texts and social media are the main ways we stay connected and when we’re working from home and are always “on call.” However, this is probably one of the more important tips when alleviating stress and protecting your energy. We are always ready to respond and to give (our time, attention, and resources) to others, that we forget to respond and give to ourselves. I was struggling emotionally and mentally on Wednesday and my friend reminded me: “you’re the most important person in your life!” That hit deep. That’s exactly what I needed to hear. I put my phone on silent and I took a nap. Everything wasn’t resolved when I woke up, but that time I spent on myself was what I needed to be able to reset and push through.

This one is simple. Literally, just say no. Those of you who follow me on Instagram saw that I posted a video where I had to leave my office. My emotions weren’t right, I was ready to send savage emails rather than maintain my professionalism, and I just had to say no and leave. And even outside of the election, I have found the power to say no. I was recently asked to speak at a rally, and I used to think that if I don’t accept those invitations then that meant I don’t support the cause. But that isn’t true. I am involved in a lot, and on the weekends I am in the mood to cater to myself — clean the house, binge Netflix, sleep in. So, I respectfully declined that speaking engagement, and said no to them and yes to myself.

This is self-explanatory. If you got out of the bed this morning, you’re winning. If you were able to clothe and feed your children before sending them off to school, you’re winning. NOTHING this year has been “normal,” and we have no idea when we will get back to “normal.” Some people’s agendas are becoming more uncertain than others, but we will all make it through! Grant yourself some grace and do the best you can. Grant others some grace as well; not everyone moves and adapts at the same speed as you.

This goes for physical space as well as mental space (i.e. social media). Many people have unapologetically unfriended people on their social media based on their political views. As I said, this election has been stressful. Some people might say they’re not racist, but I believe that if you support Trump, you support racism. I have never been the one to draw that clear of a line because I always like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but not this time. I simply can’t. If you’re in a space with someone who is either speaking negativity or is inviting negative energy in, just leave. Disconnect yourself from them (even if it’s temporary) and protect your energy!

I think I wrote this blog post for myself as well as you all. I wanted to make sure I reflected on my time of service as a poll worker. I also wanted to make sure I created a space to remind myself how to cut out the negative energy and focus on self-love and self-compassion. These tips will be helpful to all of us as we navigate the remainder of 2020 and invite in 2021. I hope you found the tips helpful, and I am always here to talk more about them if you need me to.

“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” — John 14:27 NKJV

Moni Jay, Off the Record