“Home Alone — A Covid Christmas”

How do you normally celebrate the holidays?

“I’m fine, thanks!” That was my notorious, go-to response when my inbox would fill will questions of how I’m feeling or if I needed anything. At first, I felt flattered having everyone and their mama reaching out to me to make sure I was okay. But then, after the first flood of texts, I didn’t want to keep answering the same questions. I knew if I didn’t respond I would come off as rude, selfish, or even dead. I knew if I responded and asked for them to stop asking me the same questions, I would come off as insensitive and regret it for the next time I am ever sick. I wanted to be cared for, but I also didn’t want to be defined by my recent diagnosis. So, I chose to keep my response to “I’m fine, thanks!”

On Wednesday December 16, 2020 I tested positive for Covid-19. I took the rapid test, where your results are ready in 15 minutes. That rapid test was positive, and my feelings were hurt. My travel plans for the holidays were ruined. My holiday spirit was crushed. I originally purchased a plane ticket to go home for 4 days over Christmas, but then when I realized court was slowing down for the year, I wanted to extend my vacation. Depending on the weather, I was going to drive home for the holidays and spend closer to 12 days at home with my family (y’all already know how much family time means to me).

And if getting a positive Covid-19 test result wasn’t enough, being told that I had to quarantine at least 10 days beyond the date of my symptom onset was even worse! The day before my rapid test, Tuesday December 15th, was when I first noticed a sore throat. It’s December, germs are everywhere, sore throat isn’t the number one symptom of Covid that everyone looks out for, so I didn’t think anything of it and I did my usual: reconnected with my good friend NyQuil. But that previous weekend I was more social than I should have been, and I didn’t wear a mask everywhere I went (I know I know, I definitely learned my lesson!). I knew I wanted to be extra cautious before bringing any kind of germs or sickness home to my family (doing THAT would have probably sent me over the edge). So that’s what led to me scheduling a Covid test the next day.

10 days beyond the date of my symptom onset was Friday December 25, 2020. Yup, that’s Christmas Day. I literally cried in that clinical room. Not only did I have plans to go home and be with my family for Christmas this year, but I didn’t even have a tree up at my place! If being told I couldn’t leave my house until after December 25th wasn’t enough, and if trying to avoid talking about my recent diagnosis wasn’t enough, I had to also try to convince everyone that I trusted the rapid test results. I know everyone was concerned and was empathizing with me not being able to see my family for Christmas. It was just overwhelming on top of all of the other emotions I was experiencing. I went ahead and got a confirmation test done. What were the results of that test? Yup, you guessed it, that Covid test was positive as well.

My symptoms were mild the entire time, but they did progress beyond just a sore throat. People tried to find ways for me to cut corners, defy the CDC guidelines, and make it home for Christmas. Unsure if it was when I received the positive test results, but I also received the spirit of “Bah humbug” and I wasn’t pressed to try to make my original travel plans work anymore. I made it home to see just about everyone for Thanksgiving and thought I would be home again for Christmas, but God had something else in store for me. Everything happens for a reason, and who am I to question God and His plans?

So, I was home alone for my Christmas 2020. Just me and my baby boy Cole. Here is what happened throughout my 10-day quarantine:

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• Wednesday night – spent the entire evening texting everyone who I may have had contact with in the past few days. Cried a little bit knowing that I caused my friends and coworkers to alter their days to scramble to try to find available Covid testing ASAP. I felt so guilty and was mad at myself for going out in public without a mask and not keeping a 6 foot distance between myself and others. Thank God they were all negative!

• Around Friday the 18th is when my symptoms grew from just a slightly sore throat and some fatigue, to a majorly stuffed nose and the inability to smell or taste. I eat basically the same things every day, and I tried so hard to force myself to taste the taste and flavor that my tongue knows all too well, but to no avail. I didn’t check my temp at all, but I know what a fever feels like. It feels like burning hot skin that can only be remedied by forcing your child to sit in a tub full of freezing cold water for 3 hours (sorry I just got some childhood PTSD lol). I never developed a fever.

• I cleaned my house, washed and folded clothes, ordered groceries with Instacart for the first time, order delivery with DoorDash for the first time, watched a bunch of movies – Home Alone (of course), The Call (first time), Harlem Nights (first time), Triple 9 (first time), Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom (first time), Think Like a Man (hundredth time), Why Did I Get Married?, 8 Mile, Hamilton (first time), Moana, Beyonce’s Black is King (first time), Peppermint, and all 4 of the Avengers movies.

• Got a headstart on my 2021 goals and resolutions. Click here if you missed my post last week! I publish one blog post every week. And when I made the decision to post once a week, for some reason I thought that meant I could only write one post a week. Then as I was discussing time management and trying to be more productive in 2021, my friend suggested that I write more posts at once to have a “bank” to select weekly posts from. So I used my quarantine days to think of and create blog content.

• Took a few photos for my IG and blog posts. I am not going to lie, I wasn’t in the mood to put on matching clothes, do my makeup, or even style my hair every day, but I did manage to get some photos taken! I used my handy-dandy ring light and selfie tripod I got from Amazon to assist. Click here to get you one!

• Took 48 hours away from social media. That Saturday and Sunday I told myself I wasn’t going to check any social media. At first, it was because I wanted to reduce my screen time with those apps lol, then it transformed into not wanting to feel obligated to share with the world how I’m feeling or if I have any symptoms or if I got my other test results back yet. (Again, I am so grateful for everyone who reached out to me, thought about me, or prayed for me during this time! But responding and having to repeatedly give daily updates to multiple people was emotionally draining. It was overwhelming. So taking that 48-hour break was a way for me to get my emotions in order).

• Ahh, finally, Christmas Day! The last day of my required quarantine! All of my symptoms were gone (yes, I only lost my taste and smell for only about 5 days!). I put on my Rugrats-themed holiday shirt. I made a custom, fleece blanket for someone, and then I had my Avengers movie marathon. I also called my parents and I had a couple of FaceTime calls with some friends. That was how I spent my Covid Christmas home alone! I wished I had actually bought and decorated a tree lol, but I did have my porch decorated and took some holiday photos with my baby boy!

I might have had Covid over Christmas, but I am truly blessed! My symptoms were mild and I survived it. I also went ahead and extended my time off from work and didn’t return until January 4, 2021. That’s an 18-day staycation right there! How did you celebrate your holidays? Everyone celebrates the holidays differently. Some of us have yearly traditions, some people just pray they make it through another family dinner with no drama, and some of us recover from Covid. I can’t wait to see how your holidays went in the comments! I hope that you were able to make some positive memories! I know Covid is still here and it’s still affecting our lives. But I also hope that your first week of 2021 has been peaceful and full of love!

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” — James 1:2-4 NIV.

Moni Jay, Off the Record