“Celebrate and Date Yourself!”

When was the last time you took yourself out on a date?

When I was in college, my mime leader (who was also like a mentor to me) told me that he would take Jesus out on dates all the time. He would take Him out to dinner, the movies, you name it. Now, not all of us may call it the same thing, but I do know there are some of us who like to go out and experience things on our own. I also know there are some of us who are simply afraid to do so for many reasons. I have not been one to take myself out often; sometimes I worry about what I would look like to others who see me sitting at a dinner table in a restaurant by myself. Sometimes I worry about traveling alone to other cities because I’m concerned for my safety. But I am working on celebrating and dating myself more often!

A couple of weeks ago, I took myself to see the Hawks vs. the Warriors NBA game. Prior to that day, I have never been to a professional basketball game (do the Globetrotters visiting my high school count?). And I have become a Golden State Warriors fan a few years ago. Well, more like a Steph Curry fan. Well, more like having a major crush on Steph Curry regardless of his basketball skills. It seems like ever since I moved to Georgia I told myself I was going to go see GSW when they play the Hawks since it would be right here in my backyard. But, every — single — year — I find a reason to not buy the tickets and go. One of the major reasons was that I always wanted to experience something like this with my boo-thang. I am always seeing couples going to professional games and I just always wanted to do that! And another reason was simply the cost of the tickets.

For some of you who have been reading my blogs, and for those who know me in real life, I was recently in a relationship. As our relationship progressed, I thought this would FINALLY be my time to go to an NBA game with my boo-thang! I put the date of the game on my calendar and everything! Lol. But of course, just a few weeks before the game, we break up. *insert eye roll emoji* *but also insert a smiley face emoji because that relationship wasn’t for me and I am in a much better and happier place now!*

Yall, I was *this* close to not going to this game! But then I asked my brother if he thought going to the game by myself would be safe and fun and he assured me no doubt that it would be and he encouraged me to go. I’m so glad he did! I kept an eye on the tickets because I heard that last-minute tickets are usually cheaper. I bought my solo ticket Wednesday and was at that game Friday! I had SUCH A GOOD TIME! Don’t tell anyone, but I bought a ticket on the upper level and then was able to make it down to the lower level to be closer to my bae (Steph Curry, keep up!) I was sad that GSW lost, but at the end of the night, I was so proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone and checking off something on my bucket list all — by — my — self!

The following week, I took myself to see the movie John Wick 4. That movie was also on my calendar in advance because 1) my family and I love the John Wick series and 2) my ex and I loved going to the movies. I wasn’t about to let this breakup make me wait until the movie was available for streaming! I went the night it was released, and had yet another wonderful date with myself!

I now know that I can celebrate and date myself. That if there’s something I want to do or experience that I have the means and ability to do so on my own. It’s such a liberating feeling! It’s also an empowering feeling. And what a time for me to step out of my comfort zone than Women’s History Month?! For those who feel weird or anxious about going places by themselves, I hope this post encourages you to change your mindset! Always always always put your safety first and be alert and make sure someone you trust knows where you are and that you’re checking in with them throughout the night. But this world has so much to offer and sometimes our friends and family members aren’t around or available to experience them with us. So experience those things by yourself!

I also want to encourage you all to celebrate yourself more often. I am not going to lie, the breakup hurt me at first, but after a while, I was able to see the bright side of things and I was able to celebrate my breakup. I have been an independent person in my own space for a long time, and though I want to be married and share a home with someone in the future, it felt great to have my time and space back. (I also have the best friends, coworkers, and family who showed up for me through the rough time to remind me just what kind of a badass I was and they helped turn my frown upside down! Love yall!!!) My healing journey will be a process, but I’m excited about it and am open to receiving whatever this journey has to offer!

“The one who gets wisdom loves life; the one who cherishes understanding will soon prosper.” — Proverbs 19:8, NIV.

Moni Jay, Off the Record