“Daydreaming”
What’s something that you find yourself daydreaming about often?
I have tons of student loan debt. When I was receiving those refund checks in college and law school, I never thought about the future impact student loans will have on my livelihood. Let’s not get it twisted; I am so glad my parents didn’t have to come out of pocket for my education. I am so glad I received close to $4,000 every semester in refund checks to have to use at my own leisure. I am so glad that I am a Black woman with an education — no, scratch that, I am so glad that I am a Black woman with a law degree. Only about 2% of lawyers in America identify as Black women. I take so much pride in that!
I never dreamed of that though. I sort of stumbled onto the path of becoming a lawyer. Now, here I am, 7 years after graduating from the illustrious University of Georgia School of Law. I’m out here defending people charged with all kinds of criminal offenses. I’m out here telling their side of the story. I’m out here creating positive outcomes out of terrible situations. I’m out here forcing the prosecutor to prove why someone should have their liberty taken from them. I’m out here doing the darn thing!
But those student loans are not going anywhere, smh. I’m also out here praying that ALL (if you just knew how much) of my student loans were forgiven ASAP. Many people probably want their student loans forgiven too! Mostly probably because they are tired of making those heinous monthly payments to (I don’t even know where these payments go and what they are used for…) whoever. But I want/need my student loans forgiven because it is negatively affecting my ability to obtain what I daydream about!
Some days I close my eyes and imagine acres of large green, grassy fields, enclosed with an inviting, white picket fence, containing a huge multi-bedroom and bathroom house with a wrap-around porch on the upper level. I don’t want to live too far from other people, but I do want my space and peace. I want my dog to run around the yard at will with no leash laws interfering. I want a lot of natural light to shine into my living room and kitchen and the sun’s rays bounce right off of my beautiful Click Countertops. Shoot, I might have 2 kitchens! One for family meals, and another for hosting my Wine Down Wednesday crew and other festivities! I know I can just use Click’s square footage calculator for countertops to get me right for my large kitchen and my smaller kitchen! Lol!
But guess what, yall?! My student loans negatively affect my debt-to-income ratio, so it makes it just that much harder to go out there and buy my own home! Don’t ask me what this house-buying market even looks like, because I couldn’t tell you. I’m speaking off of recent experience. A couple of years ago I tried to do the adult thing to locate, finance, and buy my own home. Things didn’t align how I wanted them to, so I was unable to become a homeowner. A beautiful thing about life is that we can find the light at the end of some of those dark tunnels. Since my last house hunting journey, I came across a reassuring article that expressed how renting isn’t that bad. It made me feel at peace for being in my 30s and still renting property rather than owning it.
Renting right now doesn’t mean my dream of owning a beautiful home on some major land won’t come true. It just means that I am doing what is realistic for me right now. There’s no need to go into more debt trying to appeal to society’s standards. I am quite happy where I am living and am satisfied with the services my landlord provides. I can easily host my Wine Down Wednesday here in my 2-bedroom townhome, and I am not going to rush the process of locating my beautiful, forever home!
“Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.” — 1 Timothy 6:6-7, NKJV.
Moni Jay, Off the Record
